30 January 2007
something other than bikes and pancakes
you want to know a little more about what im doing up here in the north west of europe do ya? well i just finished a marathon of 5 essays in 5 days! nope thats not how hard they work you here in amsterdam, thats just how hard i made it for myself by having a holiday at an inappropriate time... but all that writing (it was somewhere near 6000 words) did make me think just a little bit, and there was one particular thing that i felt was share-worthy... its a concept that a guy (actually a really famous british sociologist) called anthony giddens came up with that just keeps bouncing around in my head, it may do the same if you're one of the 'just-about-everyone-i-know' people in a relationship, well, actually i think it affects all of us but here goes: he talks about how the institution of family is becoming more flexible, how we are increasingly free to choose our mates and how we relate to them, sounds good huh? in fact he goes on to say that this creates unparalleled opportunities... but and its a big butt... it also creates a lot of work, because a relationship becomes a reflexive project which has to be interpreted, maintained and at times worried over... no those arent all my own words, but you get the point, no? cant we go back to the simple days, i want a white picket fence... i think... you happy now, davo?
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OOoh-wee, dutchies on to you... interesting post jamo.
ReplyDeleteTo play devils advocate. Is it not the flexibility with the institution of marriage/family that has more people disillusioned, higher divorce rates, etc. as we're faced with ever more choices, instant everything and less and less time? It feels like more and more people are doing it on their own (I’m not saying it’s the majority just that it’s on the increase).
All the advancement of the last 20years has allowed us to communicate faster, further & to more people. But it seems the more people plug in the less they take out of their immediate environment, the more fragmented their attention. How many people are living for the weekend? Waiting for the clock to strike 5? I agree the world around us is enabling us to have more flexibility, more choice, richer experiences and more fulfilling relationships, but its the same environment which has people increasingly plugged in yet ever more disconnected. I guess my question is whether or not more choice/flexibility is a good thing? It’s a double edged sword. With too much choice, people are never satisfied with the choice they make (“maybe the blackberry and grape jam actually was better…”). So if it’s a bad choice it’s your fault rather than a lack of choice. This leads to unhappiness.
So don’t you think that in a world of increased choice, people are starting to relate to their relationships in the same way? Seeing it as a market place or an enconomy rather than something with a different set of rules. You choose a partner, or a friend, but after a while or a difficult time you start to wonder “what if the blackberry and grape jam actually was better?” Leaving you unhappy. I guess this wild stumbling of thought is about questioning how people today relate to relationships in the first place.
Perhaps people might get so disconnected we could see a shift back to old world values and making the family even more important. Hold on tight James, I think your white picket fence might just make a comeback.
Are these ramblings from the same minds who couldn't decide between old stock or wild cat? I did enjoy davo slipping in the Blackberry there, even if he was talking about jam and not a devicee that makes it impossible to leave the office. Let me add my 2 cents.
ReplyDeleteFriends are made much quicker and more numerous these days, but in the same way they disappear and become 'long lost' more easily.
What you end up with is the online friend and the physical friend. The online one is only seen physically once a year at most. The physical one is seen online almost as much as the online one.
The nett result is that it's easier to keep contact with the physical friends. It's very rare that you'll still be emailing someone you haven't seen in the last three years.
Despite all the advances, there's still no substitute for actually being somewhere. You'll never ever see another movie at the drive-in, though.